Good news bad news

News can be awesome to the point of celebration (or in my case a statement saying "that's awesome" in a tone a degree more excited than my usual tone... My friends know what I am talking about) or it can be news that makes your heart sink. It may cause tears of joy or tears or sorrow or fear.
Yesterday when I woke up from my sleep a little after 3 pm (give me a break, I work night shift) I had received an email from my nurse practitioner at Hopkins saying my doctor wants me there for another bone marrow biopsy Friday (tomorrow) because my platelets have fallen again, as well as my red blood count, while my white count has risen. *that isn't a great sign for somebody with chronic meyloid leukemia*
So as I thought back to a month ago when I had my first bone marrow biopsy and even over the last two and a half years of fighting this joker, emotions began to rise, tears started to fall.
It's annoying. I don't know why I have to be such a "unique case" (although I have always seemed to be different than those around me) but I hope that God is able to use me and my story to help some people find hope and life through whatever they are dealing with.  I am waiting for healing in a way that the only explanation can be "God did it."

As I am trying to fall asleep (unsuccessfully) I am reminded of Paul in the New Testament: here is a guy who after encountering Jesus left behind his entire life's work in Judaism to follow the Savior. His entire life changed. He was suddenly different from what he used to be and different from his old friends. Through this shift and change, God used Paul to spread the Good News of Salvation to the world, and more specifically to those who had been told before that there was no way to be made right with God. He was able to share Life (salvation, Jesus) with many through his "unique case." He left his life's work to follow after the very thing he was so desperately trying to put an end to: Christ's church.

So even as I am dreading the drill and needle going into my hip tomorrow and the uncomfortable feeling I will have the next couple weeks I find joy in the idea that through all I am going through I can bring hope and life to others. And this is true life: Jesus Christ came from heaven, fully man and fully God, and gave his own life as the ransom for all who believe and follow him. We were separated from God because of our disobedience but because the debt was paid we can have life forever with our Creator and Father.

Update: my primary doctor treated me for migraines and I haven't had to deal with that the past week or so. I am thinking I was getting a little stressed which caused the headache to start.