Keep your head up son

So first I would like to say "wowza."  I did not expect to get so many views. I don't know if the number will stay up as you realize my writing is nothing to be dazzled by but I guess I will keep going.

So most everyone gets headaches from time to time, right? Usually you can pinpoint a reason or a cause for the pain, but for the past 2 weeks I have had a headache that has been constant. I can't pinpoint a cause and it different than a normal old headache. Saw my nurse practitioner and had a CT scan but everything looked normal.

The other day as I was home alone trying to clean up the house, the pain got so annoying and I was so tired of it I cried out to Jesus (yet again). Then as I sat in silence I felt like the Spirit was saying to me, "Keep your head up son, the pain won't last forever."

Now I am not usually one to hear "the voice of God" or to know that God was clearly talking to me, but in the silence and in my pain and in the midst of another reminder of my need for a Father and Creator and Healer I felt that God had heard me yelling out- calling on His son- and He answered simply.

I know there are many people out the in pain of all sorts from physical hurt or abuse or disease or sickness to emotional damage cause by others or a number of other things that cause pain in life like the death of a loved one. Whatever it may be people are hurting and God is saying "Keep your head up son, the pain won't last forever. Wipe away your tears my dear, I will console you."

Here is the point that matters- whether I am healed of the cancer or if it kills me, I am going to serve my God because He created me and loved me so much that His son (Jesus Christ) gave his life in place of mine. You see, I had been separated from my maker because of my disobedience and the price for that was my life, Jesus gave his life in my place and yours.

Colossians 1:21-23 Once you were alienated from God and you were enemies with him in your minds, which was shown by your evil actions. But now he has reconciled you by his physical body through death, to present you before God as a people who are holy, faultless, and without blame. But you need to remain well established and rooted in faith and not shift away from the hope given in the good news that you heard. This message has been preached throughout all creation under heaven. And I, Paul, became a servant of this good news.

Here goes nothing

Well here I go trying something new, we will just have to wait and see how long this lasts. I feel like this can be a way for me to share how God is being awesome in my life. For the past couple years I have had grand ideas come to mind on ways to share my story of God's greatness but in the chaos of life I have never followed through. So I see this as my outlet, my way to update others on my current status and share what God is doing.

Here we go...

This is just a little intro and many questions will be answered as I go.

Let's go back a couple years (#throwbackthuraday ya'll!) to 2011. On February 28 I was in the ER for what I thought was vertigo only to be told "you have leukemia" cml to be more specific. Now over the past two years of fighting we are back to square one. As if it were a board game and I drew the dreaded "return to start" card.

The medications which I have taken for two years have helped control the cancer but they haven't really been as successful as hoped. These meds kept the cancer in check but never got me into remission. The most recent side effect, which caused us to discontinue treatment for now, was a low platelet count. Now for those who don't know- platelets are the part of the blood that stop bleeding. When they are too low it can obviously cause major problems. So now we are waiting for my platelets to rise to a safer level before moving forward with treatment.

In the past couple weeks I have had to get some tests done including a bone marrow biopsy to check that there was nothing besides the cml going on. This procedure was supposed to take 5 minutes but due to my "cement-like" bones, it took 2 nurse practitioners over 30 mins to get what wasn't quite enough of a sample. That was two weeks ago and I am still stiff and a little sore from it.

Now I am just waiting...
For my platelets to come up.
To hear what my doctor wants to do next.
But ultimately to see what God is going to do through all this.

I don't want pity, I don't want to be treated differently because I have cancer. I want God to be magnified through whatever comes my way.

I hope that as you read my posts that you will be encouraged and amazed by what God has done and what he will be doing.



Colossians 1:15-20 The Son is the image of the invisible God,the one who is first over all creation, Because all things were created by him:both in the heavens and on the earth,the things that are visible and the things that are invisible.Whether they are thrones or powers,or rulers or authorities,all things were created through him and for him. He existed before all things,and all things are held together in him. He is the head of the body, the church,who is the beginning,the one who is firstborn from among the deadso that he might occupy the first place in everything. Because all the fullness of God was pleased to live in him, and he reconciled all things to himself through him—whether things on earth or in the heavens.He brought peace through the blood of his cross.